Perth Chronicles (part one)

Perth Chronicles (part one)

I’ve always wondered why when people are sitting on the ground or on a step, in slippers or flip flops , they play with their toes? With such devotion! They ignore everything that surrounds them and they go around and around the toes, poking in between one and another in search of something that can not be anything but filth and clumps of cotton mixed with dust and sweat. I mean, what else could there be? With the same fingers of that hand, they later warmly shake the hand of those who were waiting for them. Nice to meet you! Here are some of my foot boogers.

I was lost in these elaborations while I was driving to one of the many beaches of Perth.

Usually while I’m driving, I let my thoughts go, which often end up drawing a hypothetical future, staring at myself in comfortable shorts, t-shirt and with a giant backpack on my shoulder, as I walk through the many different scenarios.

In the meantime , I realize that even a holiday of relaxation would not be bad thing . Travelling across Australia still remains my dream, together with that of writing pages upon pages of what would be a memorable trip .

Yeah I know what you’re thinking: yeah right… who wouldn’t like it?

For now, I enjoy the wonderful world of travel from one point to another of Perth.

Step back.

As I said in my previous post , I was in a period of housing research, for a variety of circumstances that I will keep in total secrecy ( offer me a mojito and I’ll tell you everything). I decided to abandon the witch to her miserable fate of loneliness and sadness, and I moved temporarily in to Sergio’s place, a good friend of mine.

Sergio promptly and without the slightest hesitation welcomed me to his house, made  available a giant sofa , a couple of clean sheets;  shows me  the house and then he tells me that his house is my house. Rating hospitality : ten out of ten . Thanks a lot to him and his wife , Alexandra, who more than once has nurtured these weary limbs .

Meanwhile, given the distance from the city , I decided to rent a car for those movements necessary to search for a new home . So, after several announcements and some email exchange , I find myself driving towards Como , exactly the same neighborhood where I lived before . Only one street down . Perfect, I think , I do not just have to start from scratch this time , although I’ve reached my thirteenth move.

The house is small , almost entirely upside down due to renovations , but cozy and clean. I confirm my availability to rent it immediately and seal everything with the required deposit . Home-thing solved in an hour.

Now let’s think of something else.

When I get back in the car the internal temperature is equivalent to that of the core of a star.

I set the air conditioner to maximum and open all the windows to let the solar wind out before it  melts my fillings. As soon as I feel the cold air coming  out of the vents , I close the windows and I hope  not to melt and become an integral part of the seat.

Meanwhile, I set the GPS up to South Trigg Beach, I fix the gps  holder to the  windscreen and start driving.

My sense of direction driving a car on the streets of Perth is equivalent to that of a drunken man who recovers from a coma in the middle of a desert. If I lose the guidance of the navigator , my strategy is to continue forever in a straight line , making a complete revolution of the Earth and hoping to get to the point where I started .

Until now , I have never been in that interesting a situation , but I am always ready for sudden scenarios , so I make sure that my mobile phone is well connected to the USB socket of the car and charging.

Obviously, if the destiny wants to fuck you in the ass, there is not much that you can do, with your hands clasped behind.

Clearly, what follows is one of those moments . Let’s examine the scene in a sort of slow motion and step by step:

  • Frame 1: I’m driving with a serene face, humming something Mariah Carey not,  Limp Bizkit , outside the sun is shining, little traffic ;
  • Frame 2 : I take a small hole on the asphalt , the car jerks slightly , the sun is shining, little traffic ;
  • Frame 3 : imperceptible change of expression because of the jolt, I stop singing , various checks , sun, no traffic ;
  • Frame 4: I take a wave-like motion of the support of mobile point and look to see if it holds, check the mirrors , some cars ;
  • Frame 5 : with a plasticky sound the holder gives a crash , change of expression from Peaceful to  Fire Breathing;
  • Frame 6 : the holder with the phone attached is suspended midway between the windscreen  and the dashboard ; expression of I’ll get lost forever in these unknown streets ; quick mirror check  , cars everywhere , pulling over impossible at the moment.
  • Frame 7: hanging out with the holder between the steering wheel and the window , only held by the cable, I look around in search of an open space in which to stop, double check the mirrors, I am in the middle lane of a highway in three lanes of traffic on both sides ;
  • Frame 8: I see myself reaching the ocean, getting to top speed , hoping for a floating phenomenon never seen before and land in Indonesia , from where I  can continue to the point where I had parked before leaving, after two months driving in a straight line ; expression of tell everyone I loved them, but I’m happy to leave in a globe of fire ( car that explodes after thirty-five thousand miles in the desert) .

Just before I relax and accept a infamous fate, the traffic thins out and I  finally manage to pull over.

Shit, I was already fond of the idea of ​​a world tour by car.

Ok… next time…

I pull over just off the strip of asphalt , which is equivalent to being  in the middle of nowhere, on a strip of red soil , dotted with some shrubs , three million spiders that observe you,  invisible vultures patrol from above and rattling human remains.

Anyway, I place the bracket on the  windshield and I’m almost feeling back to guide my actions when I notice with horror and disgust , a completely new and never seen before screen on my iphone :

iphone temperature

Legend says that my expression at the sight of the screenshot above was that of a Velociraptor a few seconds before it attacks a prey.

At that point I give up all my plans for the future. Then, dictated by the pure spirit of survival , I realize that the vents send out a nice breeze at the temperature of -65 degrees, which is just enough to counteract the outside.

I place the phone in front of the nozzle and hope for the best, as I lean back and enjoy the wait , leaving the cars passing to my right, ignoring them , I focus on the pleasant melody of a song playing in the background and my gaze turns towards the red soil , the trees and the place where i imagine to be one day , with another car , the usual backpacks and a lot of road ahead .

Then I smile, take and deep breathe  and enjoy the moment.

This post is also available in: Italian

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