This is Sydney

This is Sydney


You are quietly living your life in your country, you have friends and family, you are familiar with the environment and yours is a great city. In a great country.

One day you go to bed, someone decides that you fucked something up (maybe you’ve even done it, but maybe not), they take you and send you to a place from which you leave one day and arrive months later. Once in place you discover that others like you have had the same bad luck. The place that surrounds you is absolutely bare, spartan and empty of everything you knew before.

The least you can do at that point is getting pissed like a magpie and kicking in the balls everyone you meet, until you realize that the others are doing the same with you.
Here is when you stop kicking random people and start thinking about how to turn all this in your favor and make sure that the place where you sleep is not invaded by bloody giant, angry ants. At least for the shortest time possible.

Then you all look into each others eyes and decide that there is no need to annoy each other, but maybe it’s time to stay together and think of something constructive. Maybe building something.

Maybe a place that has all the comforts you are looking for, those it did not have before too, so to counterbalance the fact of being so far away, so isolated, so apart from everything you knew before, from all that before you called home.

The nest you have in mind is the most modern you can conceive and it is mixed with as much as possible you can remember of your home. The concept is that since they brought you here, then you want to make it as more as similar to your old home, waiting for it to be called the new home.

This is Sydney, or at least is the impression it gives me.

The initial enthusiasm is still there and since I feel most practical of certain mechanisms, I like it even more. Like when you buy something a bit expensive, but after all, you feel that it was the right choice. Or like when, after several attempts, you finally discover that the size of a condom is the right one for you.

While some friends are waiting for you at the beach, you’re waiting for the bus.

You’ll wait for twenty minutes, not being able to catch the first three buses because they were too full. You’ll catch the fourth though. Four buses in twenty minutes is something I will never get used to, since in Italy it takes twenty minutes just for the first. Still, it wouldn’t be sure.

That said, it ‘s been a week since the last post, so below you will find a list of the most important things that have happened to me:

– I bought a spare belly to fill with beer, since my original is going to get the six packs. Or at least these are the intentions. If I keep drinking beer I’ll go to the beach dressing a tunic, hoping not to annoy sharks off with the reflections of my complexion when I take it off.

– I’m learning the humpback’s  language just by listening to the roommate snoring. I am at pre -intermediate level. Later this month I’ll do the final test and then I’ll be ready to work in various shows with whales, translating whales’ insults to the crowd

– I have seen people paid to clean with a sponge and soap telephone booths and garbage bins on the street. At first glance it may seem ridiculous, but if you think about it, you realize that being able to feel yourself clean after calling from a phone booth is a new sensation, as it is to see shiny garbage bins, which make you want to produce waste only to be able to approach them and maybe check if you have some sushi in your teeth.

– A seagull has downloaded its previous menu, based on cold wind, bad day and rotten fish at half a meter from my head at the beach. This fact, for the next thirty seconds makes you think of being part of a bigger picture and that the future holds for you a luminous path. Trip abruptly interrupted when you get a rugby ball in the head.

– I planned to buy a pair of pants without using gestures, but only spoken language. I also decided to actively choose the model and the colour, without being passively advised. The various shades of colours, however, still remain a secret world apart.

– A lady apologized to me for her stepping out an office just in front of me. At first I was quite surprised, but then I have enjoyed all the apologies, all confirming that there is always a first time for everything. There is also a first time when you feel confident enough to start a conversation using the only sentence you know with an Australian accent, receiving in return happy smiles from the other person, only to look fool when he reply and you do not understand a single word. Never give the illusion of understanding the Australian slang, especially at the bank or at the doctor. You may find yourself in the surgery room or being chased by cops. On the other hand I could write interesting posts about it.

– I have been searched three times in one evening with portable metal detectors at the entrance of pubs.

– I found out that for some people, getting into a room and ask the waitress the cheapest thing on the menu is not considered enough to be kicked out.

This is the place where the feeling of being able to do what you want is free; where if you take its differences with a smile, you’ll be paid back with a kiss; where if you mess around, you’ll get your ass kicked; where if you behave and work hard, you’ll get where you want; where if you ask they answer to one in three , where if you apologize, you’ll be told that no worries mate, have a nice day.

Sydney, gentlemen, is a twenty year old who knows she is beautiful and has a lot to offer. Do not ask her to talk about history, because like all in their twenties, she’s not much to say, but if you can wait for it though, she will. In the meantime, enjoy her sparkling blue eyes.

This is Sydney.

This post is also available in: Italian

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